We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.
Jim Rohn (American entrepreneur, author and motivational speaker.)
Discipline is a simple word, but its meaning goes deep. Originating from the Latin word "disciplinare," it means "to teach." Although the word is synonymous with punishment to many, this word actually encompasses both rewards and chastisement for behavior modification.
Consider a relationship scenario - young girl who is searching for love. Sweet and attractive, she attracts plenty of attention from men who cross her path. In her teens, the honeyed talk of lads make her feel she’s on cloud nine. She thinks it’s love, only to realize that it was mere infatuation when she grows older.
Then in her early twenties, she meets men who make her visualize a romance of a lifetime. They are sweet on her but in the end she sees that’s she’s a mere pawn in the flirting game – a game that had rules she could not comprehend, nor dare to play. She is hurt when she gives her heart only to find out that the game is over.
By the time she is in her mid twenties, she is knows that sugary sentences and that gazing eyes can be learnt and may not be sincere. Even if they were, it is part of a game that both parties enter and continue consciously. There is no perpetrator or victim when getting close is of mutual understanding and consent.
She learns what to observe. She tries to understand herself – reasons to her longings and hopes. She teaches herself that she is not dependent upon romantic love to live a good life – one of purpose. If ‘love’ happens, it happens. Either way, she’ll grow from strength to strength.
She learns to say ‘No’ to herself even when she longs for the ‘gifts’ offered to her, being sure it’s part of the art of seduction. She is firm to put a stop to another’s wrongful yearnings because she has his best at heart. She learns not to submit to someone who has selfish desires.
And that discipline is painful, because it means going against feelings that she had always believed in, actions that she often exhibited and thought that ran in her head. It could also leave her all alone. But when she looks ahead, she knows what’s coming if she doesn’t stop in her tracks – she will have to face the greater pain of regret if she carries on. Regret of falling in love with the wrong person, and getting depressed when it has to end. Regret of throwing away her self-worth and esteem just to conform to the whims of a self-centered person. Memories that time cannot erase…
And her reward to discipline? She will become stronger – to be more aware of her strengths and weaknesses. So much, that eventually she will be able to see people with love and accept them just as they are, yet being wise enough to know when to get close and when to keep a distance.
Sometimes in life, to a certain extent, we can see what’s coming. We know what’s going to be the result of our actions, or inaction, but we try to avoid discipline and allow circumstances to play games with us.
Why? Because we know that discipline is painful, and we don’t want to go through it. But we need to remember that if we chose not to bear the pain of discipline, we will be forced to carry the weightier suffering of regret.
Which pain would we rather bear?
